Wednesday, June 24, 2009


My brother's announcement, this oppressive unrelenting rain, and my increasing sense of marginalization at work have created in me the perfect storm of dissatisfaction. I want change. I'm sick of being the universe's b*tch.

As a general rule I'm a change resistant person, always a "better the devil you know" sort of girl, so this is not a common feeling for me. Will it pass, or will it grow?

Right this very right now, I'd like to run away to somewhere new*, to live somewhere else, to be somewhere where it might be sunny instead of getting 10' of snow and being faux rainforest the rest of the year, to escape what feel like unending familial obligations, to meet the next lively boy with dark hair and dark eyes to fall in love with but one who'll make me the game rather than the hunter, to take risks with money and livelihood....

* though the traditional place to run away to, the circus, is out because I'm afraid of clowns

"I just survive here/I never thrive here/I’m in a culture of mediocrity" - Cavalier King, The Unprotected

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