Dinner Q & A

Well, not exactly dinner since I haven't eaten yet, but you know what I mean.

Questions:

I'm thinking about taking a non-credit college class late summer/early fall, more to alleviate boredom and meet new people than anything else; but something more interesting than the classes I've had to take since college because grant-writing, first aid, humane restraint, and the autism series weren't much fun. Anyone know of a likely subject that would attract more men than women? Hopefully those in their late 20s to mid 30s? ::g::

Why do coworkers ask me what I plan to do during our (unpaid) time off? Would knowing that my plans include worrying about money a little, writing, hopefully going to the beach, worrying about money, and continuing my quest to find someone in my life who isn't scared of rollercoasters to talk into going to an amusement park help them in any way? It's not as though there's an amazing way of making cash I'm keeping secret from them or anything.

While I've helped other people dye their hair, I've never done it to my own. How does someone who dyes their hair blonde decide when enough dark has crept back in to bother dyeing it again? And how do you gently suggest to someone that he try dyeing his hair brown instead of dyeing it black?

Why do so many people, even those born since the advent of word processors, still put two spaces after a period? That was only necessary for typewriters, and looks really odd in a computer-generated document.

What is the point of the new "concealing petals" in bra cups? Do that many women wearing a bra still have that problem? And how come they have tags on bras that say "invisible under clothing" or "stay put straps"? Who do you have to kill to get a bra that in invisible under clothing and with straps that'll stay put?

Will anyone ever get flat sandals in a 7.5w in again? I've already been looking for 2 months! They don't even have boy's leather sandals this year, what gives? This is a conspiracy to keep me in socks, isn't it.

Can my on-going nightmares about alarm clocks be solved with a new clock, or would I worry instead that the new one wouldn't wake me?

How come no one ever told me that increasing your level of exercise significantly can cause metrorrhagia? We all know about it causing amenorrhea over the long term, but no one ever said the opposite can happen! Hopefully Sunday night was a scary one-off since it hasn't happened again. (Gents: if you don't know what the words mean, you'll probably be happier not looking them up)

Answers:

159

Other than trio under my right eye, just from my shoulders to my fingers. No where else.

No contacts. They just change color from their usual indeterminate shade of blue.

Because it's more fun to let you imagine the questions than tell you what they are.


"She's in your head/And you just don't notice." - Shiny Toy Guns, Ricochet

Breakfast Q & A

I have questions, and I have unrelated answers to questions people haven't asked me but probably want to.

Questions:

Why do so many people think it's funny when I swear? Or, as I get the sneaking suspicion in some cases, even worse, cute? F*ck was my first word. I bet a swearing seven-month-old was pretty damn cute.

What is it about my car that makes chipmunks who see it decide to try to end it all? I'm sick of the near-misses. I've only killed one animal in 15+ years of driving, and I'm not looking to add to the number.

Why did they cut Eric's hair?! It was perfect! Blond hair on guys only looks good long-ish.

Why do a disturbing number of nine-year-olds think that animals provide sunlight to trees? And what's the point of trees, anyway? They can't see, hear, taste, smell, or talk.

Does Ebay sell any build your own ark plans?

Why are they called Charley horses instead of "Oh my God! What did I just do to my leg?!"

Answers:

Because Dave is only 22, Dad. That's why.

I'm grumpy when it rains so hard that I miss walks because if this keeps up all week I might fidget enough that it makes someone kill me. Hyper-active kids don't exactly grow up to be calm adults, you know.

Of course I took yesterday's picture. While flying that kite myself no less. It's the best shot out of more than half a dozen attempts.

Okay, you got me. I had 15 minutes to kill last night, and that's when I wrote most of this. I'm hoping to do something more productive this afternoon than play with this silly blog.


"When they finally come what will you do to them? Gonna decimate like you did to me?" - OK Go, Invincible