Sunday, June 21, 2009

Color Me Green

I know that I promised on the 12th to try to whine less in the future than in that entry, but there's nothing like someone else's happiness to make you feel more alone. Maybe getting things out here will keep things from coming out wrong in real life. And what am I worried about? I don't even know if anyone is reading this blog anyway.

When I wrote about Harper's Island this morning, I figured on an uneventful day. Give Dad his presents, train Dragon Naturally Speaking 10 some more since it couldn't transfer my user data from version 9.5, go to the laundrymat, get groceries…find out that Vynce is planning to propose to his girlfriend on the 4th of July. Yeah, that last one threw me. It's not as though this is entirely unexpected given that he and Megan have been together going on three years, but... And I wish them every happiness, but...

As much as I can't stand Jane Austin, I'm beginning to understand why in the society of Pride and Prejudice it was traditional to marry off the older siblings before the younger ones. I'm sure that there are a lot of people whose younger siblings have beat them to the alter, and doesn't it feel fun? There's nothing like a younger sibling reaching an important milestone before you to give you a nice sense of failure as an adult. Sigh.

I guess it wouldn't sting so much if I wasn't both single and without any realistic prospects for a relationship, nevermind a successful long-term one. (the reason I label my surprisingly difficult to put aside infatuation as "unwise" is that in addition to lacking evidence that my affections are particularly returned, circumstances far beyond my control make a happy ending there a significant long shot even if he does like me as much as I do him. Even if talking to him for 5 minutes can ocassionally leave just the thought "God, I want him" in my head...) Nor do I know of a good way to meet guys given that I'm neither into religion or visiting bars too often. Since you've surely listened to women complain that the good ones are always taken, going away, or gay – or a charming combination of two out of the three - I'll let you imagine that sort of self-indulgent rant. Ditto for laments about being likable but too seldom loveable...

In a way, I'm glad to have a couple weeks notice before hearing all about her accepting his proposal. Since he bought the ring she showed her mother, there's little doubt that she'll say yes, and it would be far worse to learn his intentions after the fact. This gives me a few days to wallow and remind myself that this has nothing to do with me despite the feelings of envy it stirs up.

"Pain, without love/Pain, I can't get enough" - Three Days Grace, Pain

1 comment:

  1. Also like in the society of Fiddler on the Roof! :)