Friday, July 30, 2010

Your Face Here

At my favorite message board, there are several posters whose backs get up when people ask "am I the only one who..." and they insist that the answer is always no. But over the years I've been told flat out several times that sometimes it is just me. Or just me and Vynce, actually since lil bro and I tend to think a lot alike. A college friend who knew us both once exclaimed, "You are both so funny. What did your parents do to you?!" Uh, I don't exactly know, but both our parents have mental illnesses (as a further aside, the fact that neither of us does fascinates one of our parents' doctors. We're "amazingly well adjusted" if quirky), so I'm sure our unique outlook is a type of coping mechanism.

Anyway...Does anyone else insert people they're not exactly infatuated with yet into their daydreams? (the type of person you're superficially attracted to, but know nothing much about) I don't mean into sexual fantasies, or at least not only, but the dreaming-of-a-happy-future kind be that might mean being successful or having a nice family of your own. Or, you know, revenge fantasies of the "the best revenge is living well ilk" - other not particularly confrontational people have that sort of daydream too, don't they? Pettily showing people up by being happier than them is sort of fun to think about. These day dreams aren't actually about the person who is in them, but they get a bit part in the kind of daydream you'd have anyway.

I tend to think of people like this as "face people" since they're the fantasy equivalent of a cardboard cutout before you get to know them well enough to imagine them do anything other than being there, but I'm pretty sure that the word I'm looking for is avatar. No, not that over-rated ripoff of Fern Gully, but in the Hinduism or computing sense - a representation/manifestation of something, in this case being a representation of Mr. May He'll Do. I've said before that I don't get much out of imagining people I've never met, so I tend to use people I know in real life as props in those mental vacations that help me sleep or get though another boring hour at work.

Sometimes you get to know one of the props better, and that strips them of that status because you lose interest completely, or it moves them into the realm of being in your imaginings because you actually do like them and then they get dialogue and everything.

So, is it just me? It's okay if it is. I expect a lot of guys not to know what I mean since guys I know swear their daydreams aren't as "scripted" as women's tend to be. I asked some what they thought about when they thought about a girl/woman they really liked, and their answers tended to be body-part oriented, which strikes me as bizarre, so obviously YMMV.

"'You know you're pretty good looking for a child.' That was the last time she smiled." - Black Wire, Attack! Attack! Attack!

Monday, July 26, 2010


Today's meandering theme is guys.

* I think I should spend a few hours on a dating site. Not because I'm interested in online dating, but because I am really bad at figuring out how old guys are. I figure looking at a bunch of pictures might help. As for why now...So, there's this guy. Well, there are two - I was (am?) mildly interested in one but I'm sick of being the one to initiate all conversation, so I've put that interest on hold. Besides, I'm lead to believe him no longer making an effort to talk to me indicates that he's just not that interested, but I suppose I'm willing to be proven wrong - but anyway, the other one of them is just nice looking, and I've hardly exchanged ten words with him. Turns out he's 23. Argh. Don't get me wrong, I like younger guys, I do. In fact, I actually prefer younger men. But by "younger" I mean 1 to 5/6 years younger. Not ten years younger. I need to improve my guessing skills!

* I'm kind of talking to McDuff again. We're working together for the first time in ages, so it's a necessity. He has a girlfriend now and I'm fairly sure he figured out I'm very much not interested in him, so...hopefully talking to him again will be okay. He's a nice guy, and I'm glad he's happy now.

* I have an interesting new theory, but I don't know if anyone would understand it, because not everyone is familiar with the concept of people being "a season." What season I am was extremely easy to figure out, because almost all redheads are Autumns. If you have red hair because of an MC1R mutation, which means you have fair skin and usually blue or green eyes too, you're an Autumn. If have fair skin but strawberry blonde or auburn hair (to me neither of these is red, but ymmv) or you're a redhead who doesn't have fair skin, you're a Spring. So, most of us are Autumns.... Anyway, the theory is that people are attracted to people who are the same season they are. Nothing turns my head faster than black hair and brown eyes, but I've been attracted to a fair number of guys with brown hair, some with blue eyes, and even a few blonds. And it turns out most of them have been autumns. Vynce's fiancee is an autumn too, and from observation people in couples often just seem to, um, match. But, considering most people don't even know what season they are, never mind the people they're attracted to, I can't really poll people =(

"I'm done waiting for something to be there. I'm done waiting for a new feeling." - I Was Totally Destroying It, Done Waiting

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I'm Dreaming So Wake Up

Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I found myself thinking about one of my two American Lit classes, probably because I handled the book as I rearranged a bookcase, and wondering what happened to a classmate. His name might have been Matt, but I was never clear on that point. Actually, I was also wondering about that weird non-trad who wore ripped sweatpants to class every day too, but for other reasons. Then there were cartoon elephants in the lit book, holding hands...

My brain realized that I was now dreaming and responded by freaking out...which of course woke me back up. Why??? Sleep was the end-game, shouldn't Brain been happy to have gotten there? You know, rather than panicking?

"If I only knew you'd haunt my dreams for years..." - Woodhands, Dancer

Friday, July 9, 2010


Out of curiousity, does anyone else wish there were more random psych experiments done on people? With their knowledge and consent, I mean. I had a couple done on me (that I know of for sure. I'm fairly certain that there's one being conducted at work about fluctuating building temperatures and the tipping point of insanity, but I can't prove it) back in college, and they didn't hurt me any. No electrodes involved, or anything, though. Oh, relax. Participation in psych experiments was a requirement for Psych 401.

Anyway, I read about this study a while back - why yes, I do look up scientific studies for the hell of it. you'd worry more if you saw the history of what I've looked up on wiki - that showed that most obese mothers couldn't identify how heavy their children were by comparing said child to a silhouettes other kids; the fail part comes from them picking a lighter kid to match to. I find that facinating.

But you know, I bet people, not just obese moms, are really bad at comparing themselves to other people too. So I'd like for there to be a study to prove or disprove that, by having people run around a room full of other people and pick the person who is most like them in body size and shape. Like a manic game of Memory.

Yeah...I thought it was just me.

"Your skin your bones don't speak for me" - Young Vinyls, Avalanche

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Summer TV

So...I watch a lot of TV. I'm pretty sure that I own more TV shows on DVDs than movies, and I'm happy with that. When I was younger summers were a vast wasteland of reruns, but this decade is awesome. There are so many summer shows!

As you probably have guessed from old posts, I'm watching True Blood, Design Star, and Last Comic Stand this summer; I'm loving the first more than the other two, but I'm hoping the others will pick up soon. And Hawthorne. And Warehouse 13 started back up again last night. And last week was the season finale of In Plain Sight... Yeah. So I watch a lot of TV even during the summer.

I actually met someone a while back who said "I don't watch TV." And I mentally took a step back, thinking, "wow, if this isn't a joke, I'm not sure we have a future as friends." And I was at least half-serious. How could I convince someone who is anti-TV that it's important to watch True Blood, Fringe, and Primeval?

"Somethings wrong when you regret things that haven't happened yet." - The Submarines, 1940

Monday, July 5, 2010

June Music

This weekend I've embarked on the frustrating task of looking up albums and release years for the few hundred MP3s I have in my collection that have neither. Some are going to remain that way because of my fondness for unsigned/obscure bands...even Musicbrainz Picard is stumped by a lot of them.

Anyway, here are the recs for June.

Arctic Monkeys - My Propeller
Automatic Loveletter - Let It Ride
Courage Call - Change Your Mind
Edison Glass - Cold Condition
Framing Hanley - You Stupid Girl
Fujiya & Miyagi - Collarbone
Greg Laswell - Days Go On
Hamel And St. Croix feat. Jules Mari - Playa *
Hey Willpower - Magic Window
Iris - S. Town
It's Alive - Pieces
Jack's Mannequin - American Love
Killing Caroline - Meridian
Lily Allen vs Muse - Undisclosed Fairness
Lizz Wright - My Heart
Lovage - To Catch a Thief
Lovers + Liars - I'm Not Him
Mendetz - Sofa
Minus The Bear - Dog Park
Minus The Bear - When We Escape
Moloko - Time Is Now
People In Planes - Last Man Standing
Phantom Planet - 1st Things 1st
Poets Of The Fall - Dreaming Wide Awake
Powderfinger - The Day You Come
Rachael Yamagata - Worn Me Down
Sam Prekop - Dot Eye
Static Cycle - Pressure
Taken By Cars - Uh Oh
The Frames - Fake
The Glitterati - You Got Nothing on Me
The Only Children - Hide Your Sorrow
The Story - Gorgeous
The Submarines - 1940 (AmpLive Remix) Is there such a subgenre as neo-bossa nova?The Subways - Girls & Boys
The Used - Empty With You
The Young Knives - Turn Tail
Tommie Sunshine - Party Lights *
Tripdavon - Far From Grace
Twice a Man - Decay
Vedera - Redemption Soon

As usual:
Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before

* guess what game I eventually got around to playing!

"My hope lies in the future tales" - Broken Yoke, The Way

Sunday, July 4, 2010

4th of July. Meh.

Out of curiousity, do other currently single people find the 4th of July a bit depressing? I know it's not one of the holidays that we're supposed to find lonely, like Valentine's and Christmas to a lesser degree, but... Tonight would be a whole lot better watching fireworks with someone's arms wrapped around me, you know?


"If you see something in my eye, let's not over analyze. Don't go too deep with it, baby. So let it be what it'll be. Don't make a fuss and get crazy over you and me " - Jennifer Paige, Crush