Apparently a lot of people refer to eyes the color of mine as "blue-green hazel" and the classic hazel as "gold-green hazel" to differentiate between the two. At any rate, my eyes change colors. The default color seems hard for people to decide if they're light blue or light green, and at times they're other shades of blue, green, gray and blue-green.
Generally speaking they change color due to how dry they are (drier=greener), if I have gotten almost no sleep (bright blue-green - people ask if I'm wearing contacts), if I'm upset (darker blues and grays), and what color clothes I'm wearing. So what makes them change is not something I really can control beyond deciding what color to wear. Until now.
A few nights ago I decided to try the tongue cleaning section on the back of my new tooth brush, and it triggered my gag reflex. I happened to look up at the mirror and notice that my eyes looked blue-green for a moment, but it passed. Being someone who is willing to do unpleasant things to herself in the name scientific experiment, I did it again. And I'll be damned, for 3 or 4 seconds my eyes changed to that bright blue-green color before fading back to the "normal" color. Weird. And consistent.
So, that's my new stupid human trick. What's yours?
"You're a goddamn fool and I love you" - David Bazan, Wolves At The Door
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Nothing is ever set in NH...
I watched the pilot of The Secret Circle last night, which is about the descendants of the Salem witches, and it got me to thinking about something I've thought of before...Why, of the six New England states, are Massachusetts and Maine the one ones to have movies and TV shows set in them regularly? Sure, I adore Stephen King's Maine so I'm always happy to see something set there (like Kingdom Hospital, or my favorite, Haven) and a lot of the Massachusetts things are connected to witches or Boston, but...wouldn't it be nice to see something set in Vermont? Or Connecticut? Or Rhode Island, but not mob related (well, I guess there's Outside Providence too)?
You know I'm a Massachusetts native, but I've lived in New Hampshire nearly twice as long, and we've had, what, that immediately failure of a TV show about Poland NH and the recent and awful Yellowbrickroad movie to represent the state? That's pitiful.
Eventually, after I publish my Pull-Push-Hold trilogy and they become bestsellers, I'll sell the TV rights to Syfy, and they're say, "Shannon, these books are wonderful. But we want to make one little change. We were thinking that it'd be better if we set the show in Maine...." =(
Speaking of making the books into a show (hey, it could happen) I finally have casting ideas.
Caitlin - protagonist, brings the dead back to life: Alona Tal.
Danny - Caitlin's foster son who shares her ablities: Zane Huett
Kyler - Caitlin's dead boyfriend who just won't commit...to living: Sean Faris
Lori - Manchester police detective who enlists Caitlin's help in the serial killer case: Kelly Rowan
Max - the first person Caitlin rescued, now her neurotic ex-fiance: Taylor Kinney
Jasmine - Caitlin's first paying client, sends her referrals from grief support groups: Elaine Cassidy
Reilly- one of the murder victims Caitlin interacts with in the afterlife: Ariel Gade
I haven't decided on who would be ideal to play the serial killer or his unwilling "assistant" yet, but they'd be actors in their mid-to-late 30s.
"Stormed my winter palace but they couldn’t take it" - Santagold featuring Karen O, Go
You know I'm a Massachusetts native, but I've lived in New Hampshire nearly twice as long, and we've had, what, that immediately failure of a TV show about Poland NH and the recent and awful Yellowbrickroad movie to represent the state? That's pitiful.
Eventually, after I publish my Pull-Push-Hold trilogy and they become bestsellers, I'll sell the TV rights to Syfy, and they're say, "Shannon, these books are wonderful. But we want to make one little change. We were thinking that it'd be better if we set the show in Maine...." =(
Speaking of making the books into a show (hey, it could happen) I finally have casting ideas.
Caitlin - protagonist, brings the dead back to life: Alona Tal.
Danny - Caitlin's foster son who shares her ablities: Zane Huett
Kyler - Caitlin's dead boyfriend who just won't commit...to living: Sean Faris
Lori - Manchester police detective who enlists Caitlin's help in the serial killer case: Kelly Rowan
Max - the first person Caitlin rescued, now her neurotic ex-fiance: Taylor Kinney
Jasmine - Caitlin's first paying client, sends her referrals from grief support groups: Elaine Cassidy
Reilly- one of the murder victims Caitlin interacts with in the afterlife: Ariel Gade
I haven't decided on who would be ideal to play the serial killer or his unwilling "assistant" yet, but they'd be actors in their mid-to-late 30s.
"Stormed my winter palace but they couldn’t take it" - Santagold featuring Karen O, Go
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Your musical taste kinda sucks
Not you, the specific you reading this blog for some reason, but people in general. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you realize that I listen to a lot more indie music than mainstream, so it seemed like downloading other people's monthly indie playlists would be a good idea. It'd be faster than combing through the music blogs I usually read, so it's a good idea.
But it's not a good idea after all.
I suppose I should have doubted the wisdom of this after taking note of how often bands I hate, like Animal Collective, end up on people's "best of" lists, but surely they couldn't just like terrible bands, right? There's seldom been one of those lists I didn't find some agreement with, so I downloaded a few playlists.
Okay...there are definitely a few great songs on each, but most of them are not diamonds in the rough. They're just the rough. For every song I like, another 10 end up in my reject folder*. For some reason so many of these bands sound the same too, like badly cloned copies of Coldplay recorded at too low a volume. Don't get me wrong, "Trouble" was a good song back in the day, but do we need a million homages?
They say 90% of anything is crap, but why do you [music playlist complilers] like the crap? Why? Huh, huh, why?
*As an aside, I don't really know why I keep copies of songs I don't like on data DVDs, I just...always have. Once in a great while I go through them and rescue a song or three I've reconsidered, but it's hardly worth the effort. Good thing blank DVDs are cheap...
"I wouldn’t let you spark the fire I’m starting now" - Tracing Figures, Bury Me
But it's not a good idea after all.
I suppose I should have doubted the wisdom of this after taking note of how often bands I hate, like Animal Collective, end up on people's "best of" lists, but surely they couldn't just like terrible bands, right? There's seldom been one of those lists I didn't find some agreement with, so I downloaded a few playlists.
Okay...there are definitely a few great songs on each, but most of them are not diamonds in the rough. They're just the rough. For every song I like, another 10 end up in my reject folder*. For some reason so many of these bands sound the same too, like badly cloned copies of Coldplay recorded at too low a volume. Don't get me wrong, "Trouble" was a good song back in the day, but do we need a million homages?
They say 90% of anything is crap, but why do you [music playlist complilers] like the crap? Why? Huh, huh, why?
*As an aside, I don't really know why I keep copies of songs I don't like on data DVDs, I just...always have. Once in a great while I go through them and rescue a song or three I've reconsidered, but it's hardly worth the effort. Good thing blank DVDs are cheap...
"I wouldn’t let you spark the fire I’m starting now" - Tracing Figures, Bury Me
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Hatchbacks part II
Back what feels like a million years ago, but was really 2006, I posted about things that surprisingly fit in my then vehicle, a Dodge Shadow hatchback. That car has since gone to the junkyard in the sky, and I hope the vehicle after that, a Kia Sephia, is languishing in what passes as the vehicle equivalent of hell, but my current vehicle is another hatchback, a Nissan Versa. I actually don't like it as much as the Shadow (it's bad to distrust a vehicle with 18,000 miles on it, right? I did already had to replace the tires, though), but it is useful. Around here both hatchbacks and Jeep Wranglers are considered kind of girly, and it stands to reason because guys who tend to want utility buy pick ups or big SUVs. It's practical to have something you can haul stuff around here, rather than pretentious. I think.
I think I had a point when I started this post, sorry. Anyway, surprising stuff that fits in a hatchback. I have a new entry to the list: a 24" dual stage snow thrower. God only knows why the old one was impossible to replace in January, but now that it's time for Labor Day week sales, they're everywhere. If there's a God in heaven a snow thrower will never be useful in September, even here. Dual stage this time, because in retrospect a single stage one having our winters inflicted upon it was only asking for an early death for it. Poor snow thrower 1.0, it did try so hard.
Some people hate to make a big purchase like this one, a weather dependant one, but I'll tell you, if $500 is the price for not getting enough snow to make this thing useful, it's money well spent. I'd gladly pay $500 a year for mild winters.
"Say you're confused. You want me and you want to hurt me. To beat out the cold that keeps you from having me completely. Say I'm so cold I rip your skin. Brag that I've got a bitterness in my chest where my love should be." - The Shondes, Winter
I think I had a point when I started this post, sorry. Anyway, surprising stuff that fits in a hatchback. I have a new entry to the list: a 24" dual stage snow thrower. God only knows why the old one was impossible to replace in January, but now that it's time for Labor Day week sales, they're everywhere. If there's a God in heaven a snow thrower will never be useful in September, even here. Dual stage this time, because in retrospect a single stage one having our winters inflicted upon it was only asking for an early death for it. Poor snow thrower 1.0, it did try so hard.
Some people hate to make a big purchase like this one, a weather dependant one, but I'll tell you, if $500 is the price for not getting enough snow to make this thing useful, it's money well spent. I'd gladly pay $500 a year for mild winters.
"Say you're confused. You want me and you want to hurt me. To beat out the cold that keeps you from having me completely. Say I'm so cold I rip your skin. Brag that I've got a bitterness in my chest where my love should be." - The Shondes, Winter
Monday, September 5, 2011
August Music
Conditions - Illuminati buy
Darker My Love - Dear Author
Har Mar Superstar - Tall Boy buy I found this song a little confusing until I learned it was written for Britney Spears
Ke$ha featuring 3OH!3 - Blah Blah Blah buy If you aren't amused by her adopted persona, I don't know what to tell you
Testing Tomorrow - Revolver
Tracing Figures - Bury Me
Woods - Mad At You
As usual:
Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before
"I'm holding out but not getting an answer. I'm finding out that cheating gets it faster." - Jimmy Eat World, Get It Faster
Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before
"I'm holding out but not getting an answer. I'm finding out that cheating gets it faster." - Jimmy Eat World, Get It Faster
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Words That [don't] Work
Let's talk about Words That Work: It's Not What You Say, It's What People Hear by Frank I. Luntz.
Apparently this book is being touted on some Fox News show, because my mother recommended it for me given that I'm looking for a part-time job to compliment my "real" job, and probably would benefit from advice about resume/cover letter writing. So, I decided that reading the book couldn't hurt.
It didn't hurt, but it sure didn't help. There are only two types of people who probably got anything out of reading it: people writing political speeches, and people writing commericals. Sure, I now have a greater store of useless triva knowledge of the TV jingle kind, but that's not what I was hoping for. The part that the book jacket says is helpful in everyday situations? That's in one 10-page chapter.
Reading an unhelpful book might not have been so bad if it hadn't also annoyed the hell out of me too. The funny thing is, as someone who votes Republican (though I'm a libertarian leaning moderate) I'm part of the target audience for this book, and I still found the tone unbearably smug. And for someone who thinks he's a maven of words, he jumped all over the place and repeated himself more times than I could count.
Skip this book. It's full of hot air.
"You could be the reason I love. You could be the reason I cry. You could, you could, you could" - Jakalope, Pretty Life
Apparently this book is being touted on some Fox News show, because my mother recommended it for me given that I'm looking for a part-time job to compliment my "real" job, and probably would benefit from advice about resume/cover letter writing. So, I decided that reading the book couldn't hurt.
It didn't hurt, but it sure didn't help. There are only two types of people who probably got anything out of reading it: people writing political speeches, and people writing commericals. Sure, I now have a greater store of useless triva knowledge of the TV jingle kind, but that's not what I was hoping for. The part that the book jacket says is helpful in everyday situations? That's in one 10-page chapter.
Reading an unhelpful book might not have been so bad if it hadn't also annoyed the hell out of me too. The funny thing is, as someone who votes Republican (though I'm a libertarian leaning moderate) I'm part of the target audience for this book, and I still found the tone unbearably smug. And for someone who thinks he's a maven of words, he jumped all over the place and repeated himself more times than I could count.
Skip this book. It's full of hot air.
"You could be the reason I love. You could be the reason I cry. You could, you could, you could" - Jakalope, Pretty Life
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Come on, Irene
Well, that was no fun.
Hurricane Irene was rather weak by the time she got here, and there are a few storms every year that have higher winds and so on, but because PSNH is such a lousy power company, we got to experience the first multi-day summer power failure in my lifetime. I now know that 60+ hour power failures also suck during the summer, not just the winter. I would have been content going to my grave without learning that, but what can you do?
You know how some people wistfully say they wish they'd been born in another time? Take away the power for a few days, and you'll cure most of their romantic longings for by-gone days. Everything is harder without power, and you really notice how much you depend on heat or cooling when you can't turn up the thermostat in the winter, or put on the air conditioner or a fan in the summer. I like it hotter than most so it was only slightly annoying to me, but a lot of people suffered in the heat. Plus, you know how in the X-Files episode "Home" Scully told Mulder that he'd fall into a catatonic state if he's without a cellphone for two days? I'm not much better than that without internet access. Since age 18 the longest I've ever gone without checking my e-mail is five days - during, of course, a different power failure...
I feel bad for the folks in Vermont who had no warning that the storm was going to nail them - a lot of them will be without power for days yet, and some have had main roads go so they're inaccessable expect by helicopter...the scary thing is that I can imagine Portsmouth, NH getting cut off the same way if something nailed the bridge (you might be able to get out via route 33, though, I don't remember since it's been a decade since I traveled to Portsmouth weekly). It's hard to believe that this is the best we can do predicting storm movement in 2011. Hopefully they'll be back to normal soon, with roads repaired and the rest of the damage cleaned up.
"I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer. Is there something more than what i've been handed?" - Hoobastank, Crawing In The Dark
Hurricane Irene was rather weak by the time she got here, and there are a few storms every year that have higher winds and so on, but because PSNH is such a lousy power company, we got to experience the first multi-day summer power failure in my lifetime. I now know that 60+ hour power failures also suck during the summer, not just the winter. I would have been content going to my grave without learning that, but what can you do?
You know how some people wistfully say they wish they'd been born in another time? Take away the power for a few days, and you'll cure most of their romantic longings for by-gone days. Everything is harder without power, and you really notice how much you depend on heat or cooling when you can't turn up the thermostat in the winter, or put on the air conditioner or a fan in the summer. I like it hotter than most so it was only slightly annoying to me, but a lot of people suffered in the heat. Plus, you know how in the X-Files episode "Home" Scully told Mulder that he'd fall into a catatonic state if he's without a cellphone for two days? I'm not much better than that without internet access. Since age 18 the longest I've ever gone without checking my e-mail is five days - during, of course, a different power failure...
I feel bad for the folks in Vermont who had no warning that the storm was going to nail them - a lot of them will be without power for days yet, and some have had main roads go so they're inaccessable expect by helicopter...the scary thing is that I can imagine Portsmouth, NH getting cut off the same way if something nailed the bridge (you might be able to get out via route 33, though, I don't remember since it's been a decade since I traveled to Portsmouth weekly). It's hard to believe that this is the best we can do predicting storm movement in 2011. Hopefully they'll be back to normal soon, with roads repaired and the rest of the damage cleaned up.
"I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer. Is there something more than what i've been handed?" - Hoobastank, Crawing In The Dark
Friday, August 12, 2011
Tick-y Situation
So...back in mid-July I got what felt like the flu, with a temp of 103, extreme fatigue, chills, headache and muscle aches from neck to knee. In 48 hours I started to feel better. Temp went down, only my neck and head ached any more, so I figured I was on the mend. Oddly, my appetite disappeared just as I was starting to feel better that Friday.
But that Saturday I woke up and knew that I wasn't better, and wouldn't be for a while. See, I had a rash on my belly. And it had a faint bullseye for a few hours. Then it spread and swallowed the bulleye up. Mostly it was pink and purple, like my back was the time I woke up to go to the bathroom as a teenager and fell down the stairs.
It sure didn't look like all the pictures on the internet, but I had every single other symptom for lyme disease, so I forced myself to go to the doctor since I know that early treatment has the highest cure rate. The doctor looked at me for about thirty seconds, and said, yup, there's no point in even doing a blood test because that's what the non-bullseye rash looks like. Or rashes by that point - I got a dozen of them in varying sizes by the time the meds kicked in.
The doctor also said nine people came in in one day the week before, so apparently there's an epidemic of it in my town given there's all of 8,000 people here. NH has been between the #1 and #3 highest infection rate the last five years, so it's probably not too surprising...but in a way it is. I always spend a lot of time outside, and I didn't even see the tick that bit me.
I'm through with the antibiotics by now, and the only lingering ill effects are that I'm still more tired than usual (six and a half to seven hours sleep is no longer enough) and I'm still losing weight because my appetite isn't back to normal yet either. It's okay, I could probably lose 20 pounds before anyone got upset about me being too thin.
The moral of the story is this Boys and Girls: if you get "the flu" and then a rash, have it checked out for lyme disease. Only 40% of people get a rash that looks like the ones we're warned about. Apparently a lot of people never get a rash at all. Who knew?
"Lay me up, then heave-ho. You're sick and beautiful. Peel my bandage slowly, it's psychological. You're napalm with novocaine, A kite in a hurricane..." - Artificial Joy Club, Sick and Beautiful
But that Saturday I woke up and knew that I wasn't better, and wouldn't be for a while. See, I had a rash on my belly. And it had a faint bullseye for a few hours. Then it spread and swallowed the bulleye up. Mostly it was pink and purple, like my back was the time I woke up to go to the bathroom as a teenager and fell down the stairs.
It sure didn't look like all the pictures on the internet, but I had every single other symptom for lyme disease, so I forced myself to go to the doctor since I know that early treatment has the highest cure rate. The doctor looked at me for about thirty seconds, and said, yup, there's no point in even doing a blood test because that's what the non-bullseye rash looks like. Or rashes by that point - I got a dozen of them in varying sizes by the time the meds kicked in.
The doctor also said nine people came in in one day the week before, so apparently there's an epidemic of it in my town given there's all of 8,000 people here. NH has been between the #1 and #3 highest infection rate the last five years, so it's probably not too surprising...but in a way it is. I always spend a lot of time outside, and I didn't even see the tick that bit me.
I'm through with the antibiotics by now, and the only lingering ill effects are that I'm still more tired than usual (six and a half to seven hours sleep is no longer enough) and I'm still losing weight because my appetite isn't back to normal yet either. It's okay, I could probably lose 20 pounds before anyone got upset about me being too thin.
The moral of the story is this Boys and Girls: if you get "the flu" and then a rash, have it checked out for lyme disease. Only 40% of people get a rash that looks like the ones we're warned about. Apparently a lot of people never get a rash at all. Who knew?
"Lay me up, then heave-ho. You're sick and beautiful. Peel my bandage slowly, it's psychological. You're napalm with novocaine, A kite in a hurricane..." - Artificial Joy Club, Sick and Beautiful
Saturday, August 6, 2011
July Music
All Ends - Apologize
Symphony Of Life - Avantasia buy
Bandito - Veneno (Mexico City)
Black Heaven - Agony buy
Captain Phoenix - Pistols & Hearts buy
Dave Gahan - Deeper and Deeper buy
Erik Sumo - Friday I'll Be There
Fixmer/Mccarthy - Look To Me buy
Flokati - Sun buy
Fredrik - Locked In the Basement buy
Goose - Words
Hook & The Twin - Race for the Bone
Howls - Hammock buy
IAMX - Spit It Out (SRLremix)
Jesus On Extasy - Tonight buy
Juliette & The Licks - Got Love To Kill
Kane - Wanna Make It Happen
Korn - Hushabye buy
Lilofee - Where The Fallen Stars Lay
Pamela Hute - You Made Me Lady buy
Ratatat - Neckbrace buy
Red On Red - Just a Little Bit Further buy
Robyn - Love Kills buy
Shyama - Chemical Arrest buy
SinFuRoco - Monkey Planet buy
State Of The Union - Dancing In The Dark (Aqualite Remix)
Superdrag- She is a Holy Grail buy
Swell - What I Always Wanted buy
The Boy Judas - My Real Self
The Cat Empire - Waiting buy
The Charlatans UK - Trust in Desire buy
The Cutaway - Never Been Alone buy
The Fast Forwards - No One Left
The Parlor Mob - The Kids buy
To All Our Saviors - Don't You Know
Uncle Ho - Euphoria
Wayne Hussey - Garden Of Delight buy
As usual:
Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before
"All I want is your soul. Well..." - Law, XXX
Symphony Of Life - Avantasia buy
Bandito - Veneno (Mexico City)
Black Heaven - Agony buy
Captain Phoenix - Pistols & Hearts buy
Dave Gahan - Deeper and Deeper buy
Erik Sumo - Friday I'll Be There
Fixmer/Mccarthy - Look To Me buy
Flokati - Sun buy
Fredrik - Locked In the Basement buy
Goose - Words
Hook & The Twin - Race for the Bone
Howls - Hammock buy
IAMX - Spit It Out (SRLremix)
Jesus On Extasy - Tonight buy
Juliette & The Licks - Got Love To Kill
Kane - Wanna Make It Happen
Korn - Hushabye buy
Lilofee - Where The Fallen Stars Lay
Pamela Hute - You Made Me Lady buy
Ratatat - Neckbrace buy
Red On Red - Just a Little Bit Further buy
Robyn - Love Kills buy
Shyama - Chemical Arrest buy
SinFuRoco - Monkey Planet buy
State Of The Union - Dancing In The Dark (Aqualite Remix)
Superdrag- She is a Holy Grail buy
Swell - What I Always Wanted buy
The Boy Judas - My Real Self
The Cat Empire - Waiting buy
The Charlatans UK - Trust in Desire buy
The Cutaway - Never Been Alone buy
The Fast Forwards - No One Left
The Parlor Mob - The Kids buy
To All Our Saviors - Don't You Know
Uncle Ho - Euphoria
Wayne Hussey - Garden Of Delight buy
As usual:
Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before
"All I want is your soul. Well..." - Law, XXX
Sunday, July 31, 2011
The Deathly Hallows pt II
I finally got to see the movie...I'll explain why I wasn't up to it sooner in another post. I know a lot of purists were upset about changes from the book, but I didn't love the book so I'm not bothered. I'm bothered that they make a point of showing blue-eyed Harry with a voice over saying how much his eyes look like his mother's then immediately showing the brown-eyed girl they cast as his mother as a child, but that's my biggest nitpick.
It's hard to believe that the end has come... Has there ever been another movie franchise where people could literally watch the actors grow up? I'm looking forward to the inevitable box set this Christmas of both parts of Deathly Hallows. The Harry Potter movies are probably my favorite movie adaptations (True Blood for TV for somewhat fateful, and Haven for merely "based upon") of all.
I'm going to miss going to see the movies, to be honest. That's the bad thing about endings: even if the series was really good, eventually it comes to and end. sigh.
"I miss you, each day day day. I miss you, why does it have to be this way?" Feeder, Miss You
Monday, July 11, 2011
Oh, Sookie... (Dead Reckoning spoilers)
I look forward to the new Sookie Stackhouse book every year, and Dead Reckoning was no exception. What was different, though, was that I didn't love book 11.
As you are surely aware from other posts, I'm a big Sookie/Eric fan, which is one of the reasons why I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to see how book 4 will work into this season of True Blood, and herein lies my biggest complaint with Dead Reckoning: Now that Sookie and Eric seem happy together, a huge, vampire-queen shaped monkey wrench has been thrown into their lives. The book ends on a wait-and-see note, and with only two books to go, I'm half anticipating, half dreading what's going to happen next between the mind-reading barmaid and her viking boyfriend.
Come on, Harris, don't do this to us! You probably shed Sookie/Bill fans a long while ago, you don't want to lose the Sookie/Eric contingency too, do you?
Other than the relationship woes, the book led to some interesting developments. Did you wonder why Claude and Dermot moved in? Or why she and Hunter read minds despite it not being a fairy gift? Read Dead Reckoning and you'll find out.
"All this dancing around again, will it break uncomfortable silence?" - Triggerfinger, All this Dancin' Around watch buy
As you are surely aware from other posts, I'm a big Sookie/Eric fan, which is one of the reasons why I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to see how book 4 will work into this season of True Blood, and herein lies my biggest complaint with Dead Reckoning: Now that Sookie and Eric seem happy together, a huge, vampire-queen shaped monkey wrench has been thrown into their lives. The book ends on a wait-and-see note, and with only two books to go, I'm half anticipating, half dreading what's going to happen next between the mind-reading barmaid and her viking boyfriend.
Come on, Harris, don't do this to us! You probably shed Sookie/Bill fans a long while ago, you don't want to lose the Sookie/Eric contingency too, do you?
Other than the relationship woes, the book led to some interesting developments. Did you wonder why Claude and Dermot moved in? Or why she and Hunter read minds despite it not being a fairy gift? Read Dead Reckoning and you'll find out.
"All this dancing around again, will it break uncomfortable silence?" - Triggerfinger, All this Dancin' Around watch buy
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Flash fiction July
We had 60 hours to write our stories as usual, and again this tied for second. Why must first be so elusive?
Sugar-Free
Smuttynose Island had a beer company named after it, and felt eons away as I piloted a rented boat towards it. By the time I reached the shore, the fading daylight had tinted the water the color of cheap cola. I sighed at the thought: the whole point of the trip was to escape the excesses of modern life that followed me, over fifty pounds worth of it since college.
Bringing the boat against the dock, I was pleased that it was whole. The rental guy had me imagining planks missing or ready to give way under my weight, though my aunt probably would have mentioned it before suggesting I stay there for the summer. The guy might have just been yanking my chain, but his alarm at learning my destination had seemed genuine. "What are you going out there alone for?" he'd asked. "Don't you know that's a murder house?"
I had known that; Grandma kept a macabre scrapbook of articles about our most famous dead relative and I'd poured over it as a child. "She wasn't a beauty, Jenna, neither of them girls were but they didn't deserve to die like that," Grandma, finger hovering over the photo of slain Anethe, would say every time she caught me. Maybe it was meant to be comforting, that notion that even ugly people shouldn't be murdered, but I figured she was trying to nicely say I was homely too.
Sighing, I tried to shake off the old insecurities, and checked to make sure the anchor chain was sound. I never did answer the rental guy's first question. He probably would've laughed to hear that I was hoping that shutting myself away from easily accessible supermarkets and bakeries would be the kick in the pants, the oversize pants, I needed to get serious about dieting.
Docking the boat myself wasn't easy, but I managed. The house was visible from the shore and it wasn't a beauty either. Aunt Katherine had someone out to fix it up, twice, but the repairs were never quite finished, and the worn building advertised its age and state of neglect. I trudged up the path, hoping that the interior of the little building would be nicer.
It wasn't. Opening the door, I could imagine Katherine saying: "Give it a chance, Jenna. You said that life has gone off plumb for you. Maybe this will help." Maybe it would. I could hardly see myself baking in that kitchen - the batter would be as much dust as flour.
At least there was electricity. Katherine might be fond of hoop earrings, gauzy skirts, and prattle about chakras, but even she didn't believe in denying oneself the comforts of modern technology. How else would she have sold power crystals on eBay?
Even with electricity, I found myself clumsily tripping over carton of small tools that someone had left on the bathroom floor. Clearly it belonged to one of the unreliable workmen because the new toilet showed evidence of work in there. Fortunately, the vanity I braced myself against to keep from tumbling into the ancient tub was sturdy.
I hadn't thought to bring a duster, so I found a rag and set about trying to smooth the dust off various surfaces. It was probably a futile effort without a vacuum cleaner, but the burst of activity helped keep my mind off of cake and other forbidden delights. Even without sweets there to actively vie for my attention, my thoughts kept circling back to the fact that I would have gladly killed the rental guy for a Snickers bar.
**
Everyone I trusted enough to ask about weight loss had told me that the longer you go without sugar, the weaker the cravings become. It only took me three days before I realized that none of these people had actually ever tried their own advice. Having nothing sweet in the house drove me to distraction and I couldn't even bake anything. Fruit just wasn't cutting it, and I had bought more of that with me than just about anything else. Horny men thought about sex less often than I craved carbs.
Eventually I found myself looking up sugar detoxification, hoping that webMD might have a page on adverse reactions because I was beginning to imagine suffering tremors or hallucinating a chorus line of Hostess baked goods. A websearch revealed that no one, at least not with the initials DR after their name, had ever seriously researched the matter. It didn't help me much but at least I didn't have to worry about a pie visiting me with rattling chains.
By the morning of the fourth day, I realized that my grand plan had a fatal flaw. I had only thought of how stranding myself on a tiny, otherwise uninhabited island would force me to behave myself, but I hadn't given any thought to what I would do instead of snack. An amateur historian might have combed the property for clues about the semi-unsolved crime, but I had spent only a short while exploring the two outbuildings before deciding that anything of value had probably been eaten by time, so that was no way to occupy myself. The classic hobby, writing the great American novel, was right out because I was as distractible as a kindergartner.
I could clean though, so I pawed through my purse, hoping to find a pen and paper for a list. Quite unexpectedly, my hand found half of a Kit Kat bar. Without even thinking about it, I unwrapped it, and popped it in my mouth. Bliss.
I was still savoring the taste of chocolate when I heard an explosion behind me. Whipping around, I saw that a canister of flour, one that had probably seen the Eisenhower administration, had dashed itself on floor. I stared at the broken shards in the powdery drift, and wondered how it had happened...at least, until I remembered the open window. Sighing, I picked up the biggest pieces, and added a new dustpan to my list of cleaning supplies.
**
Later, as I headed back to the mainland, I was thankful yet again that I'd done a lot of boating as a kid. At least I could escape if someone showed up with an axe, I thought morbidly. It must have been terrible, for the two women who died, and the one who didn't, to have been trapped in that house when someone came.
The mainland hardware store had everything on my list, though I knew that I was being screwed over on prices: Katherine told me flat out that prices got raised in May so summer tourists could be fleeced. After that, I popped into the grocery store, intending only to buy some bread for the seagulls. Without quite thinking about it, I found myself leaving the store with a box of doughnuts and break-away cookie dough too.
On the way back I rationalized it. It has been four days, not counting the chocolate, since I had indulged in sweets. Everyone said that the key to a successful diet was to not deny yourself, so I was just following good advice.
**
"It's good advice," I muttered as I entered the house. Could houses be disappointed in you, I wondered idly. Of course not. Going sugar-free really was making me lose my mind if I was personifying the house so someone could be disdainful about my purchases.
The strangest thing happened when I put the cookie dough away: the refrigerator shuddered, bouncing my endless supply of fruit. I stared at it and made a mental note to check if there'd been an earthquake. People think the northeast doesn't get any. It does, just too small to be noteworthy.
I got the donuts put away without incident, but I thought I saw the cabinet door move a little out of the corner of my eye. It was just nerves, I decided.
Truth be told, I was a little disappointed in myself for those thoughtless purchases, so I took the L-Glutamine a friend swore by, and tried very hard not to crave anything but sleep. I made it a whole night without caving in, and it felt like a victory.
**
The victory only lasted until three, when I found myself being drawn to the fridge like a redneck in an alien tractor beam. I was only going to eat one dough blob, not even giving myself the satisfaction of warm cookies.
Next thing I knew, I was opening the dough, and a flicker of movement froze me. For a second I'd been sure someone had been staring at me, but no one was there. I slammed the fridge shut, stuffed the dough in my mouth, and dashed back to bed. The house's history was getting to me, that's all.
**
The house suffered another tremor as I gathered bread and donuts and headed outside. Maybe it was built on a small faultline. I promised myself to ask Katherine about it later.
As soon as they saw me, seagulls gathered along the shore and I spent a while tearing bread into pieces and tossing it to them, only slightly bothered that their hungry cries sounded like lost toddlers. Some were more daring than others, and I found myself laughing at their antics between bites of donut.
But only until something horrifying happened. A hand made of water surged out of the ocean and smacked away everything I was holding. I shrieked and jumped back, fully expecting that a closer look would provide a logical explanation.
What I saw was watery fingers waggling disapprovingly at the food scattered on the ground. The seagulls didn't mind and dove for what I'd dropped. But me? I ran screaming all the way back to the house.
**
My heart pounded as I slammed the door behind me. If I thought the house would provide sanctuary, I was wrong. Something sticky immediately fell on my head, and I felt for it, hand trembling, only to discover cookie dough. Before I quite knew it, several more unseen assaults were launched, like someone was firing the dough at me from a paintball gun.
In the kitchen donuts hung in mid-air until they noticed me, then they flew at me, leaving powder all over me as I ran away. I stopped only long enough to grab my phone before shutting myself into the cellar.
**
Somehow, there was a signal. "Aunt Katherine," I cried shakily when she answered. "I think the house is haunted."
"Why, dear?"
"This is going to sound crazy, but every time I eat something sweet, weird stuff happens."
I'm not sure what I expected her reaction to be, but laughter wasn't it. "Of course it does."
"What?" I asked blankly.
"I suggested you stay there for a reason, Jenna."
"What reason?"
"Anethe hated sugar. She wouldn't allow it in the house. So..."
"You're saying that I'm being haunted by a sugar-hating ghost?" My voice rose at the end.
"I think so. Both those workmen who skipped out on me, they complained about rattling and stuff moving while they finish their lunches. So it only stood to reason-"
I hung up on her.
**
You probably think I jumped back in the boat and left immediately, but you'd be wrong. I stayed as long as I'd planned before everything weird happened.
I needed help with my sugar addiction, and Anethe was more than willing to provide it. I can't think of a better way to stay in line than knowing that a sugar-hating specter is ready to pounce poltergeist-style, can you?
Anethe and I made our peace - with just a few more sweet slipups - and I left the last week of August feeling better about myself than ages. When people ask my weight loss secret, I'd just smile and say I got some help from an old busybody relative who helped me break my bad habits.
The End
P.S. the murders really did happen, late in the 1800s. Google "Smuttynose Murders" for more info.
"Everyone has respect to uphold, you lost mine when you screwed me over tenfold." - Captain Phoenix, Pistols & Hearts buy
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