Monday, June 27, 2011

Super 8. It's Super!


I went to this movie without knowing much about it and I liked it quite a bit. It was nice to see Elle Fanning, who was a toddler in the first thing I saw her in (Taken) in a pretty big part, and the boy who played the lead did an excellent job for someone who has never had a TV or movie role before.

Was it a masterpiece? No. Was it fun to MST 3000 with the people I went with? Yup. And it the Super 8 film at the end was worth the price of admission. Go see it before it's gone.


"I don't just want to be a footnote in someone else's happiness." - Fall Out Boy, Headfirst Slide Into Coopestown On A Bad Bet

Friday, June 10, 2011

May Music


Bill Withers - Grandma's Hands  buy mp3 
Client - Happy
Disco Ensemble - Protector  buy mp3
Jack Penate - Be The One  buy mp3
John Vanderslice - Forest Knolls  buy mp3
Joy Zipper - 1  buy mp3
Julian Plenti - Fly As You Might  buy mp3
Julian Plenti - Fun That We Have  buy mp3
LCD Soundsystem - You Wanted A Hit  buy mp3
Lunascape - Chemical Lingo  buy mp3
Massive Attack featuring Madonna - I Want You
Melissa Ferrick - Drive  buy mp3
Millencolin - Black Eye  buy mp3
Nada Surf - Mother's Day  buy mp3
Necessary Response - Elements  buy mp3
Necessary Response - Spilling Blood  buy mp3
Neon Trees - Drop Your Weapon
Nine Inch Nails - Sin  buy mp3
Paramore - Careful  buy mp3
Paramore - Ignorance  buy mp3
Peaches - Trick Or Treat  buy mp3 
Peaches - You Love It  buy mp3
Peter Murphy - A Strange Kind Of Love  buy mp3
Pillar - Whatever It Takes  buy mp3
Placebo - Battle for the Sun  buy mp3
Robyn - Be Mine! (Ballad Version)
Sea Wolf - O Maria!  buy mp3
Spoon - Got Nuffin  buy mp3 did you wonder what the song at the end of House's season finale was?
Sugarcult - Hate Every Beautiful Day  buy mp3 I own this cd, but apparently the song didn't gel with me before
Sunmay - Let's Go To Bed (The Cure cover) buy mp3
The7method - Dead Like Me  buy mp3
The7method - The Breakdown  buy mp3
The7method - Your Disappointment  buy mp3
The Afghan Whigs - I'm A Soldier  buy mp3
The Classic Crime - Abracadavers buy mp3
The Classic Crime - Medisin  buy mp3
The Courteeners - Kings Of The New Road  buy mp3
The Courteeners - You Overdid It Doll  buy mp3
The Go-Betweens - Was There Anything I Could Do? buy mp3


As usual:
Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before

 
"You touch yourself and think of me. Come on, it's not that dirty" - Die Trying, Dirty Dirty

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Flash fiction May

I've been meaning to upload this story for a couple of weeks, but...even if I told you how much of my free time has been spent gardening, would you believe me?

Anyway...

We had 60 hours to write a 2000 word or less story, use the words "Phrase," "Detract," & "Thankfully," and draw inspiration from this picture.

I barely finished on time and wrestled with whether I should try to write a story when my muse wasn't being cooperative. I guess it turned out okay all things considered.

Spring Break

The first time it'd been a warthog, and Devin Green had gotten away with it. Later on things got more complicated, but right at the beginning, it had started out almost consequence-free...

~*~*~

Despite the fact that Devin was dutifully packing his duffel bag for spring break, it didn't stop him from making a last ditch effort at avoiding the trip. As soon as his mother poked her head into the room to check on his progress, he went on the attack. "I don't want to go, Mom. Don't make me."

Ellen Green sighed and looked towards the ceiling, as if she could find words of wisdom written up there. "You know you have to, Dev. You spending school breaks with your father is written into the custody agreement."

"So? Am I gonna go to jail if I miss a spring break with Dad?" Devin asked irritably.

He thought he'd been a pretty good sport about things up until now, but this year, when he and his friends were actually old enough to do something interesting over break, his plea to stay home had been met with a resounding no. It wasn't fair, he'd been packing up to wander all over creation with his father every spring since he was seven and he was sick of it.

"No one would send a fifteen-year-old to jail for missing spring break-" Ellen started to say, only to have her son cut her off.

"Well, would you go to jail then? For being a bad custodial parent?" Devin asked, getting more wound up.

"No-"

"Then why do I have to go? It isn't fair. You have an affair after Dad ditches you for work, and I'm the one who spends the next eleventy-seven years paying for it every spring and summer. Where's the justice in that?!"

"Devin!" Ellen's eyes flashed dangerously, and Devin knew that he'd pushed her too far. "You're going and that's the end of it."

"Fine. Whatever. I'm going to go to college in Australia and never coming home," he said petulantly as he dragged his duffel off the bed and stalked out of the room.

"If you can find a way to pay for that, power to you," he heard his mother muttered behind him, and it did nothing to improve his mood.

Three more years and they'd stop being able to shuffle him back and forth like a rook on a chessboard. He couldn't wait.

~*~*~

Three hours later Devin got off the bus and went into the station to look for his father. Rich wasn't much of a father, but he usually had drinks and snacks with him when Devin got there, which was a point in his favor. This time was no exception and Devin spotted him clutching a Dunkin Donuts bag and bottles of Sprite.

"Hey, Sport!" Rich greeted him in the same way he had since before Devin could tie his own shoes. It was something his son found both annoying and endearing. "How was the bus ride?"

"Long. Hot. I sat next to the last living member of the Spanish Inquisition and spent the trip answering stupid questions about how I liked high school," he said, taking a bottle and opening it for a long swig.

Rich gave him an uncertain smile, obviously not sure how to react. "Well, at least it's over."

"Right. Where to now?" Devin asked. "Are we backpacking in some dry place that's never heard of plumbing, or are we going somewhere it rains twenty days a month?"

Neither possibility would have really surprised him because his father usually spent spring breaks dragging him to places that people who didn't have "investigative" TV shows to host knew better to stay away from.

"Nope." Rich shook his head. "This year we're staying stateside."

"Did you get fired?" Devin blurted out before thinking that through. Though, it would be interesting if the job that he'd picked over Devin and Ellen tossed him out on his rear.

Rich's eyes narrowed. "I did not. I'll have you know that we're investigating urban magic this week."

We're. Rich always phrased it that way, even though Devin usually spent the entire time trying to keep out of the camera crew's way, and definitively off-camera himself since his mother flatly refused to let his dad "exploit" him that way. During a good spring break he might get to lug some equipment for the crew so he had something to do other than miss his friends.

If his dad had been a suburbanite commuting to and from a job in a nearby city, maybe these breaks every spring and summer might not suck so much because he'd have neighbors, and neighbors often had kids. The idea of friends he saw at his father's might have been okay.

"Urban magic?" Devin asked when he realized the conversation had lulled. "Really?"

"Yup. We're heading to Detroit."

~*~*~

"Here we are," Rich announced, but he was speaking to the camera, not Devin. The show liked to tape arrivals, even if it meant "arriving" six or seven times to get the intro right.

It wasn't a burned-out building, but both neighboring buildings were. Devin got out of the van and looked around. "Shithole" didn't even begin to cover his opinion of the place.

A door opened and a wizened old woman the color of mahogany began to slowly approach, which one of the cameramen captured in loving detail. Devin didn't stay close enough to hear his dad or the woman speak, but he could pretty much imagine the exchange. Viewers didn't seem to notice that it was basically the same stuff over and over again, or maybe they did and they actually liked it. Either way, Rich's show 'What's Out There' usually made good ratings for something on cable.

After the whole meet and greet was captured on film, the cameras went off so Rich could speak to the witch, if that's what she was, off camera to strategize. Viewers might think that everything they saw was completely spontaneous, but nothing could be further from the truth. It was in the best interest of everyone involved that both the host and the gracious guests were both put into the best light, and every detail of that was planned.

"Dad, I'm going to poke around," Devin called before wandering off.

He contemplated exploring one of the gutted buildings before he decided that falling through a floor might be more exciting but not more fun. He was at a loss until he realized that he could see someone waving to him, so he went to check it out.

The someone turned out to be a girl about his age, and she had a complexion just about the same shade as the old woman. It made Devin feel absolutely pasty in comparison. "Hey," he said cautiously.

"You're with the film guys?" the girl asked. "You don't look old enough."

"'cause I'm not. My dad thinks that dragging me from film site to film site is father-son bonding," Devin groused. "I'm Devin."

She smiled at him. "Belle, and I'm totally with you. Grandma's got the same idea, but I usually just get dragged to her clients' houses."

"So...is she a witch, or something?" Devin asked, not really worried about sounding rude. Belle didn't strike him as the touchy type.

"Or something," Belle agreed with a nod. "Fact is, anyone here can do what she does, they just don't know it."

"Just here?"

"For like the next four blocks, yeah." Belle glanced around. "There's something screwy about this place since everyone left. Grandma said that 'the divide is bleeding,' whatever that means."

"Are you talking about magic, or..."

"Right. Magic."

"Okay..."

"Really," she insisted.

"So you're saying that I could do magic?" Devin asked dubiously.

"Yup."

"Uh huh."

"No really. Close your eyes and think of something, anything, really hard. Concentrate on it, and when you open your eyes, it'll be real."

"Whatever."

"What, are you scared?" Belle taunted.

This got his back up. "I'm not scared."

"So try it."

Sighing, he closed his eyes and thought really hard about something that would never wander through a half burned-out urban neighborhood.

Before he even opened his eyes Belle was squealing. "What is that? It's so ugly!"

The warthog standing in the road didn't seem to think much of Belle either, and glared at her with beady eyes. "Holy crap!" Devin yelped. "How do we get rid of it??"

"We-" Belle started to say, but she stopped when a speeding car barreled into the warthog and erased it from existence. It didn't simply disappear, but the red, slightly furry remains would be hard to identify.

"Ewww." Devin looked away. "So, can you make anything just by thinking about it?"

"Almost anything," Belle amended. "I've never been able to get a giraffe right."

"You've tried to make giraffes?" Devin looked surprised. He'd thought that replicating the warthog that'd attacked their jeep last summer was pretty clever, but it was disappointing to learn that the neighborhood had seen other exotic animals already. "Why?"

"Dunno, I just like them."

"How do you 'almost' make a giraffe, anyway?"

"You kind of make them headless," Belle muttered. "It's not on purpose, I just have trouble with animal heads. Usually I stick to non-living things."

"Uh..." The thought of a headless giraffe struck him as pretty unpleasant, but it did give him an idea. "Hey Belle, you want to make your grandma, like, the most famous person ever for a while?"

"If it'd get us out of here, sure. What do we have to do?"

"We've gotta wait until..." Devin outlined his plan, and Belle nodded along.

~*~*~
It wasn't until people began to scream later on that the plan seemed like a bad idea. Devin had tried hard to imagine what would happen if, just when Belle's grandma looked like she was concentrating hard, a headless giraffe suddenly appeared. But his imagination hadn't done the image justice.

The poor beast lumbered around, swinging its long neck to and fro, before thrashing against the brick wall of Belle's house. It gamely tried to get somewhere, but the lack of eyes, or a brain, made it hard for it to find its bearings, so it was more sad and horrific than anything else.

Everyone but Belle and Devin shouted in alarm, and at least one of the camera crew dropped a camera as they tried to do something, anything, about the headless ungulate. Belle poked him hard in the ribs. "Holy shit, we're going to be in so much trouble."

Devin shrugged. With everyone screaming and failing about, no one even seemed to know they were there, thankfully. "If they blame me, maybe I won't have to spend the summer with my dad." He couldn't imagine that his mother was going to react well to a headless giraffe incident, so maybe it'd work out in his favor.

~*~*~

Later on, after the photos were published (a reporter got wind of it before the giraffe was banished) two things were crystal clear: one, 'What's Out There' had never enjoyed higher ratings. Two, even if he was forced to spend more school breaks with Rich, it'd be hard to top the excitement of the magic in Detroit...but as mid-June rolled around, Devin found himself looking forward to what his dad had in store next.

The End


"I break my wooden bones for you. You took my crystal heart and shook it through and through" -Sea Wolf, O Maria

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Scary Statue


Argh!!!



"Be still my love, be still my love. Don't you move while I rip your heart out." - No One Goes Home, Be Still

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

April Music

Caribou - Hello Hammerheads
Christopher Anton - This Is Where I Am
Constantines - Shine A Light
Covenant - Call The Ships To Port (Kaylab Remix)
Crosscut - Perfect Gift
Cyberpiper - Mary
Devendra Banhart - A Ribbon
Devotchka - Venus in Furs
Dirty Passion - Liar
Disco Ensemble - Drop Dead Casanova
Disturbed - Bound wow, it's hard to believe it's been a decade since I saw 'em
Echoes the Fall - Bloodline
Elliot Minor - Electric High
Elliott Brood - Write It All Down For You
Emery - Churches And Serial Killers
Hotspur - Chandelier
IAMX - My Secret Friend (Ft. Imogen Heap)
IAMX - Spit it out
IAMX - Think of England
Imogen Heap - I Am In Love With You
Indigo Girls - Become You
Informatik - Falling
Iris - Annie Would I Lie To You (T.O.Y. Mix)
Islands - Shining
Jack Penate - Pull My Heart Away
Kasey Chambers & Shane Nicholson - Jackson Hole
Kings Of Leon - Notion
Kirlian Camera - The Dester Inside
Kutless - In Me
Old 97's - Timebomb
One Minute Halo - Under The Blues Skies
OneRepublic - All The Right Moves
Oomph! - Burning Desire
The Ropes - I Miss You Being Gone


As usual:
Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before


 
"And if you ever change you mind, you know I'm not hard to find. And if you ever need someone, I'll still be waiting..." - Devlins, Waiting

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter

So...today is my 36th Easter, even though I've just turned thirty-four. There's a math puzzle for you. Any idea how that worked out? I'll tell you, next year is even worse, I'll be up to 37 before turning 35.



If you haven't worked it out yet, I'll give you a clue: I was born on Easter Sunday. And today I overheard Dad telling Vynce that stupid people ask me if my birthday is a different date every year. It's totally true, and I've been asked that by multiple thoughtless people! They must find Thanksgiving births puzzling too.


"Come on, come on. Come on little rabbit, show me where you got it." - The Afghan Whigs, 66


Friday, April 8, 2011

Sucker Punch

I hope Colleen and Ophelia liked this movie too, because I did. I didn't love the ending, and I was unhappy that "Panic Switch" by The Silversun Pickups wasn't in the movie after being heavily featured in the trailer, but other than that...

I'm not much of a feminist, but I'll admit that I have a general fondness for tv shows and movies that are big on girl-power. Girls kicking guys' asses is pretty sweet. This movie had a fair amount of that, so I enjoyed it.

More so, though, was the apprication of the visual aspects of the film. Gothic surrealism is an under-used film style, so I'm always thrilled when something new comes along to make use of it. I'm not sure what is so exciting about the up-from-under wide angles, but I really love that (even in ballroom scene in this backstreet boys video) for some reason. I really wish that more films would make use of it, and I think the emergence of steampunk will eventually grant me that wish...if we end up getting a bunch of steampunk movies, that is.

Anyway, I give Sucker Punch 7/10.


"..blew all in me with gold silence, then a science project volcano erupts inside me, filling me with flat champagne." - Children Colide, Jelly Legs

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

March Music

Wow, a lot of this month's recs lack videos. Sorry about that, but it's the luck of the draw.

Black Lab - Broken Heart
California King - On Planet Earth
Catherine Wheel - Gasoline
Damian Carbenell - Im Not Alone
Dan Auerbach - The Prowl apparently I only hate The Black Keys together as a band
Dar Williams - Empire
Drawn From Bees - Long Tooth Setting Sun
Garbage - It's All Over But The Crying
Gene Loves Jezebel - Kiss of Life
Goldfinger - 99 Red Balloons (Nena cover)
Good Charlotte - The River
Good Shoes - Everything You Do
Griffin House - Flying Upside Down
Guadalcanal Diary - Michael Rockefeller
H-Blockx  - Little Girl
H-Blockx - Leave Me Alone
Jax Streeter - Another Life
Jax Streeter - Last Night
Johnossi - Execution Song
Jonny Cola & The A - Grades - Summer Of Hate
Ladyhawke - My Delirium  there's also a band called Ladyhawk...with dudes
LANCE - Blue Sky Eyes
LANCE - I Love You and it Won't Go Away
Larkin Grimm - Ride That Cyclone
Manchester Orchestra - Where Have You Been
Octoberman - Dancing With Your Ghost
Orenda Fink - High Ground
Parlor Hawk - Home
Parlotones - Life Design
POL Arida - Get Out of Here
Scott H Biram - Sinkin' Down
Seth Smith - Warm Regards
Shapes Of Race Cars - Get Melted!
Silversun Pickups - It's Nice To Know You Work Alone
St. Vincent - Paris Is Burning
Swans - She Lives
Taddy Porter -  Big Enough
The Caesarz - Take Me Away
The Family Stand - The Last Time We're Here
The Hot Toddies - Keep on Runnin' (The Vampire Song)
The Rational Academy - Unsolved Mysteries
The Spring Standards - Queen of the Lot
Tijuana Cartel - Persian
Turnstylz feat. Sciryl - Passport
Watchmen - It's Not Too Late
Will Hoge - Even If It Breaks Your Heart 

As usual:


Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before



FTR, a lot of this month's songs can be found as free MP3s on Amazon (for now).


"We'll give you everything. Things that you'd never need, things that you'd never dream. Things like eternity..." - Cracker, Star 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Night Coming On

As much as I bitch about winter, I'm not completely immune to its beauty. A couple of weeks ago I noticed that right at twilight the snow glowed an eerie blue, so after a few more days of missing twilight, I finally had both charged batteries and the right timeframe...only to discover that night landscape mode won't let you shut off the flash. So, in order to catch that blue glow, I ended up bringing out my tripod (and cocoa) to take a series of photos before night came on completely.

It seemed like it'd make an interesting gif. What do you think?



Photos taken between 6:20 and 6:28 EST...or, if you want to be really pedantic, EDT since we're in daylight saving time.



"Blue Light marches on the distance, could be a TV or a UFO. Most nights, they start at least six times. Maybe I'm in the movies, maybe I don't know." - Marry me Jane, Blue Light

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Lost Art

Do you ever wonder what bored people with English degrees do to amuse themselves? Besides writing disturbing stories in the second person, that is. (That was the most common comment on that story. Which is good, it was my aim.) Well, some of us try our hands at the lost art of letter writing.

I noticed that the newest Accu-Check commerical was different, so I felt like writing to them to ask what was up was the proper thing to do.

To whom it may concern,
I was concerned when I saw your latest commerical. Robin no longer mentions that Rodney's kid has diabetes like she does. Was Rodney laid off (the recession and all) or, god forbid, did something happen to that poor child?? I've spoken to other worried viewers too, the child is okay, isn't s/he?

Shannon Rene

Of course, they wrote back. They always do.

Dear Ms. Rene,
Thank you for sending your message to our website. Yes, Rodney still works for Roche and is still in the commercial in the locker scene. Rodney’s child is doing well but we do want to thank you for the heartfelt concern.

Best regards,
C.V.
ACCU-CHEK Customer Care

The letter I got back from Jergens after asking them how much of their lotion you should ingest in order to heal your skin from the inside (they said right on the bottle that it heals skin from the outside and the inside) was more amusing, but I can't find it at the moment. If I do,  I'll edit this post.

Maybe next I should write to Exxon about putting a tiger in your tank... ::evil grin::


"She's so afraid that the world's gonna get her. Yeah, I think that's true." - Shapes of Race Cars, Get Melted

Friday, March 11, 2011

February Music

So...this month's recs are a bit more eclectic than usual because I decided to pull out bands I had 3 or more unlistened to MP3s by, and they turned out to mostly be: alternative rock/metal, christian metal, and darkwave. Hopefully it's not too jarring a mix for you.

10 Years - Actions & Motives
10 Years - Shoot It Out
A Split Second - Rigor Mortis
Abrupt Edge - I Know
Advent - Caving In
Advent - Grow
AFI - End Transmission
AFI - It Was Mine
Alien8 - Bombs Away
Assemblage 23 - Disappoint
Ayria - Bad List
Balkan Beat Box - Quand Esct-Ce Qu'on Arrive
Beatsteaks - Run Run
Beborn Beton - Situations
Before Their Eyes - Finding A Way
Blowsight - Based On A True Story
Bouski - You Don't Need My Love
Das M Neonlicht - Ist Das Wirklich Nötig
Fall Out Boy - Headfirst Slide Into Coopestown On A Bad Bet
Feeder - Miss You
Florence And The Machine - Kiss With A Fist
Flyleaf - Ocean Waves
Flyleaf - Swept Away
Flyleaf - The Kind
Indica - Straight and Arrow
Ingrid Michaelson - Soldier
Iron and Wine - Swans and the Swimming
Lifehouse - In Your Skin
Linkin Park - The Catalyst
Papa Roach - One Track Mind
Poets of the Fall - 15 Min Flame
Queens of the Stone Age - Gonna Leave You
R.E.M - Final Straw
Rhett Miller - I Believe She's Lying
Rocco DeLuca and the Burden - Save Yourself
Ryan Star - Right Now
State Radio - Camilo
The Corrs - Forgiven Not Forgotten
The Jesus And Mary Chain - Reverence
The Tragically Hip - Love Is a First
Thievery Corporation - 33 Degree
This Fires Embrace - Warrior Poets
Thom Dowd & Thomas Coard - Flute Singer
Thousand Foot Krutch - Break the Silence
Thousand Foot Krutch - E For Extinction
Thousand Foot Krutch - Step To Me
Three Days Grace - Break
Veil Veil Vanish - Secondhand Daylight
VNV Nation - Chrome (SITD Mix) 
VNV Nation - Sentinel
Zeromancer - Need You Like A Drug


As usual:

Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before


"Trying to go to France, want to see Brazil. Trying to see the islands, take a trip to China. Go and get your passport, go and get your passport..." - Turnstylz, Passport

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Flash fiction V-Day

You know how it goes: 2000 words written in no more than 60 hours. To be frank, I wrote this story in 70 minutes. Hopefully it doesn't read like a story written in just over an hour, but it probably does. Edit: tied for 2nd, again, so maybe it doesn't read like it was written in an hour.

<-- All stories much incorporate this photo
and the words Imagine, Sob, & Initially.

Plus, the story is to have a Valentine's Day theme...not my favorite holiday, but I think I made it festive enough =)

Straight Through The Heart

When Ellie broke up with you three days before Valentine's Day, she'd said that she was worried about you. You were, in her words, unstable, if not worse. She looked sad as she said it, a portrait in angst, but she meant it. You were through. Forever. In a teeth-gritting way, you were glad you hadn't married her, because if she sincerely believed you were ill, she definitely wasn't going to live up to the 'in sickness and health' clause of traditional wedding vows.

Maybe it wouldn't have gone down that way if you hadn't been so honest with her. Your mother drilled honesty in all things into your head, and even as an adult who should know better, you found yourself still desperate to live up to parental expectations. So, when you realized that you and Ellie had a deep connection, you told her. Initially she seemed flattered, but as you elaborated, you began to notice that fear was creeping into her eyes.

The break up hardly came as a surprise a few days later. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Having your heart ripped out and stomped on, no one gets past that without a whimper or two. Without waking up with the desire to scream when they realize it's all real, not a nightmare that would soon dissolve away.

So, you learned two lessons. One: honesty is not the best policy. Two: when it comes right down to it, Ellie is a bitch. These two thoughts grappled in your mind like dogs fighting, and eventually you began to wonder if revenge was a better policy than honesty.

Revenge sat across from you as you sipped cold coffee and mechanically chewed toast that had been burned because you hadn't wanted to leave the toaster on the setting Ellie had preferred before she walked out on you. And revenge put its arm around your shoulder when you stood in the bathroom and contemplated suicide. The ring that you slipped out of your pocket then, as you thought about it being smeared red, sparkled in the light from the open window. The stone scored well in all the qualities you were supposed to look for, clarity, cut, color, and caret. Sitting in the palm of your hand, it represented 200 hours of listening to people complain. Jared's wouldn't take it back, you'd asked. Begged. Ranted. Been asked to leave the store. Snapping the ring box shut, you walked away from the straight razor, the clock radio close to the bathtub, the bottles of pills Ellie left behind. They'd wait patiently, if it came to that.

If the ring couldn't go back, and the hours it cost couldn't be unlived, and you couldn't unlive either, maybe you could perform alchemy instead. After you called into work, you hit the streets, looking for someone who could help you transform the ring into something different, something that you had more of a use for, considering you weren't going to be asking Ellie to marry you on Valentine's Day.

All the stores along the strip were dressed up like cheap whores, flashes of red everywhere you looked, and you could almost smell the cheap chocolate crammed into every one of them. It didn't matter. Your head was full of 1929, and cheap paper hearts weren't enough to lift your thoughts to the present. But even more, as you concentrated on the task at hand, you were able to ignore the thread that stretched out before you, leading back to Ellie.

It was the thread that had you thinking of revenge, of Lincoln Park, of Ellie...when she broke up with you, you assumed that the thread would snap, that cold and moiraeic, she'd take shears and cut through the fabric of a shared life. It wasn't a literal lifeline, you knew, you were pretty sure, but you'd still worried that the severing would leave you lifeless. It hadn't, and the thread hadn't broken either.

No, instead the trailing light still spooled out in the distance, leading back to wherever Ellie had gone to be a her again instead of half an us. For a while you tried to convince yourself that Ellie was right, and you were becoming unhinged, but you'd followed it again, the day after the jewelry store incident. And there, at the end of the line, she'd been, morosely sipping coffee in Starbucks. How could you have known she'd be there, if the link between you wasn't real? She wasn't such a creature of habit that finding her was more inevitable than chance.

If she hadn't immediately freaked out when you told her about the connection between you, it would have been nice to talk to her about what it all meant. Calmly, rationally, maybe the two of you could have gotten to the bottom of why you'd noticed, just a few weeks before, that a cord of light bound you both. You had your theories: maybe you were seeing beyond the weave of the world, and were noticing something that others couldn't; maybe it was like those people who promised to read your fortune and tell you the color of your aura...that could be an interesting new line of work, better than hearing customers whine, but so far you only saw it between you and Ellie; maybe it was a brain tumor, and if it was, it was pretty low of her to dump you when you were defenseless.

Another time, the next night? it was getting hard to recall the passage of time, but the Valentine's decorations everywhere still, not yet desperately proclaiming "50% off!" said it hadn't been as long as it felt, you followed the thread again, and found yourself standing outside a motel room, looking in through the windows like a peeping Tom. Ellie had been in there, dressed in a white robe you didn't remember, and she managed not to see you. It shouldn't have surprised you, not considering that she'd packed up all her things and left your apartment looking like the scene of a half completed robbery, but in a way it had. You'd assumed that she'd turn to her sister, but she'd ended up there instead. You walked away, hoping she wouldn't look out the window as you retreated.

She hadn't been sobbing. Instead, she'd been reading, and she looked...content. Maybe if Ellie had looked wounded too, you might have relented, but for her to seem fine...Revenge slipped an arm through the crook of your elbow and walked you home.

In the end it was an idiot you'd found on Craigslist that helped you forward your plans. It was hard to imagine that the police wouldn't have beat you to him after reading his ad, since it was unlikely that trading "anything" (and listing what that meant, which was the part you felt would interest the police) for a "good" ring was even legal, but he'd opened the door and welcomed you in, asking to see the ring before the draft from the winter crouching outside had even dissipated.

He'd jabbered about how much his girl was going to love the ring, but you weren't really listening to that beyond wondering if she would. Instead you interrogated him about the list of "anything" he'd mentioned in the ad. No, you weren't interested in the all-star hockey tickets, not the X-Box 360 setup, none of that. You wanted to know about the gun.

Oh, that, it was a beauty he claimed. Guns didn't strike you as beautiful so much as utilitarian, but you let him talk about it anyway. He'd bought it at a gun show after one/two/many TV shows about FBI agents convinced him that owning a glock would be so cool...but he'd never gotten around to learning how to shoot at a firing range.

A smarter man might have asked why you wanted a gun, perhaps recalling that there were waiting periods to buy them, but he wasn't that sort of guy. Instead he'd wrapped the gun up in a soft cloth bag, and handed it to you the moment the ring box dropped into his out stretched hand.

It was heavier in the pocket of your winter coat that you imagined it would be. LL Bean reinforced the pockets of their outerwear, so the weight wasn't a problem, but it made the gun feel very real as you walked back past the tarted up stores. Eventually you passed a newspaper machine and read the date: those desperate signs would be going up bright and early the next morning. That bothered you: if someone passing by had asked the date, you would have thought it was the 13th still. That meant you'd found the craigslist idiot just in time.

Why it had to be Valentine's wasn't something you'd completely worked out in your mind, but it just seemed fitting. Asking Ellie to marry you that day was going to bring you together forever, but she'd wrecked that. She didn't seem to know it, but you were still bound to her, and it was growing unbearable. The light between you hadn't dimmed, not even a little, and it was beginning to frighten you. What if it meant Ellie was your soulmate? A soulmate who didn't want you seemed like a special sort of hell, so you had to do the snipping yourself, and the gun seemed like the tool to get the job done.

You didn't want her to suffer, so it was good that you were a decent shot. Your dad had taught you to shoot when you were small, first with air rifle almost as long as you were tall, and then with live ammo around the time he taught you to drive. Once, straight through the heart, and she'd barely feel it. You didn't owe her much, but you did owe her that.


Waiting was the hard part. Joyful couples streamed the sidewalks, and you couldn't find Ellie then. Well, you could find her at any moment, but it didn't seem wise just then. So you waited, endured watching people kiss, walking by with roses tucked into the crooks of elbows, sharing a love you worried you'd never find again, not while you and Ellie retained an unwanted connection. By then you'd decided you didn't want it either, not if she didn't love you any more.

Eventually the crowds thinned as people went home to fuck. That's when you got in your car and followed Ellie's trail. A worry that following it by car would be hard crossed your mind, but it was no more distracting than GPS so you managed fine. To your surprise, you found yourself in the museum district. Dimly, you recalled hearing something about an Egyptian art exhibit, but you hadn't realized Ellie was interested in that.

You weren't so you barely noticed the art in the windows, samples meant to whet the art appetite, as you made your way to the windows outside the gift shop. Ellie was there, as you knew she would be. Her hand was about to touch a scarab beetle paperweight when something made her turn her head and look out.

Your fingers closed on the gun, ready to pull it out and end what lingered between you. You'd never fired on a living thing before, but this had to be considered self-defense the way she was making you suffer.

The light between you flared up as she continued to turn her head, as the gun came halfway out of your pocket. Her eyes met yours, and you said a little prayer, asking for forgiveness for what you were about to do.

And the cord snapped. There was a bright sparkle as the center was cut, and it quickly faded from both ends, racing back to you, to your centers. In seconds it was gone.

You jammed the gun into your pocket, turned, and walked away, leaving her to stare after you.

The End


"You don't just blurt love is a curse..." - The Tragically Hip, Love Is A First

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Praying for snow?

If you're the one praying for snow, please stop. We've had enough. If I find you, I will hurt you.

Things I'm sick of:
- snow
- shoveling snow from the driveway
- shoveling snow off the roof
- ice
- narrowed roads & driveways
- mountains of snow in parking lots that make it hard to see other cars
- snow!
- frost heaves
- the cold
- windy windy days (seriously, 50mph wind gusts? I'm so over that)
- snow!!
- wearing layers
- wearing boots
- scraping car windows
- daylight disappearing before 6pm (though this is a vast improvement over December when it got dark at 4:30pm)
- snow!!!


"Well it just started to snow & again it fucking blows, & blows & blows" - 22, Winter Sucks

Thursday, February 10, 2011

January Music

Beck - Youthless
Bush - Afterlife
Cable35 - Harry
Cassock - Zombie
Children Collide - Jelly Legs
Cocoanut Groove - End Of The Summer On Bookbinder Road
Dave Gahan - Kingdom
Deaf Pedestrians - Dharma Moraine's Automatic Armor
Depswa - Take It Back 
Devlins - Waiting (Tom Lord Alge Remix)
Ectoplazmic - Residue
Eskimo Joe - Black Fingernails, Red Wine
Good Charlotte - Keep Your Hands Off My Girl
Ian Carey ft Mandy Ventrice - Let Loose
Intervurt - Union Square
Jorge & Alexa Narvaez - Home (Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros Acoustic Cover)
Justin Ossher - Strength of Your Command
K's Choice - Virgin State of Mind
Low Vs. Diamond - Heart Attack
Malcolm Middleton - Carry Me
Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful Of Sunshine
Powderfinger - D.A.F
Puracane - All Over Now
Queens Of The Stone Age - Auto Pilot
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Road Trippin'
Rivers Cuomo & Rainn Wilson - One Of Us
Sarah Mclachlan - Ice
Sender - Sleepwalker
Shiny Toy Guns - Ghost Town
Sparkadia - Falling Down
Stromae ft Kanye West - Alors On Danse
The Bravery - Above And Below
The Fray - Say When
The Hard Lessons - Bamboo
The Honorary Title - Everything I Once Had
The Pretty Reckless - Make Me Wanna Die 
The Sunpilots - Faking This
Tinie Tempah ft Eric Turner - Written In The Stars
Tom McRae - Ghost Of A Shark
Tom McRae - You Cut Her Hair
Violent Soho - Jesus Stole My Girlfriend

As usual:

Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before


"The cupboard is empty, we really need food. Summer is winter and you always knew." - Bush, Little Things

Monday, February 7, 2011

For the love of...

Look, I know that climbing up on a roof and pushing snow off of it sucks. I know through personal experience, since I've done it often enough the last three years. But you need to do it. I'm rapidly losing sympathy for idiots on the news who cry about their roof caving in.

Snow is heavy. You are probably smart enough to realize that. So shovel and save your roof! And if you're the public works department, you should die of shame when the building's roof caves in under the weight of snow.


"Underground where the fingertips call her name, trapped in silence waiting on the shallow plain. I’m searching with my hands & bones. Beneath the snow, there’s something down below." - The Dirty Secrets, 5 Feet of Snow (Miami Horror remix)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Season of the Witch

Well...this was an odd movie. It's one of those films that never really decided if it wanted to be a straight up horror movie, or if it wanted to be campy, so in the end it settled for a blend that left the movie feeling somewhat disjointed.

That said, though, it's not that bad a film. Not worth the $10 I paid to see it (matinees that end before 4pm?! I hate that theater sometimes) but you should catch it sometime.


"Kill that middle class indecision, now is not the time for liberal thought. So I go hunting for witches." - Bloc Party, Hunting for Witches

Saturday, January 8, 2011

December Music

!!! - Jamie, My Intentions Are Bass
A Perfect Circle - Passive
Adele - Rolling In The Deep
Aeroplane - Without Lies
Brandon Flowers - Jilted Lovers And Broken Hearts
Broken Bells - Mongrel Heart
Bullet For My Valentine - Your Betrayal
Civil Twilight - Anybody Out There
Cloud Cult - Forces Of The Unseen
Dark Meat - Well Fuck You Then
Detachments - Holiday Romance
Egyptian Hip Hop - Rad Pitt
Fever Ray - Mercy Street
Hot Chip - I Feel Better
Jaguar Love - Polaroids & Red Wine
Jakob Dylan - Everybody's Hurting
Junip - Sweet & Bitter
Kula Shaker - Peter Pan RIP
LoneLady - Immaterial
Margot & The Nuclear So And So's - New York City Hotel Blues
Massive Attack - Atlas Air (Goldsworthy Remix)
Massive Attack - Paradise Circus
Mock & Toof - Suppress Your Feelings
Mumford & Sons - White Blank Page
New Young Pony Club - Architect of Love
Pendulum - The Island - Pt I (Dawn)
Seabird - Don't Know You're Beautiful
Sia - Hurting Me Now
Skream - I Love the Way
The Raveonettes - I Wanna Be Adored (The Stone Roses Cover)
Tired Pony - Dead American Writers
Tricky - Murder Weapon
Underworld - Always Loved A Film
Wintersleep - Mausoleum


As usual:

Bold = I have other songs by them in my mp3/cd collection
Italic = I'd heard but didn't like other songs by them
Neither = never heard of them before



"Hang around out of convenience and sooner or later, You'll be on your way. I don't why it would be one thing when it's not. How could it be one thing?" - Griffin House, One Thing

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

flash fiction Xmas

As usual the flash fiction contests are 2000 or less words written in 60 hours, with three words and a photo for inspiration -->
(don't blame me, I didn't pick the picture) This time the words were:
Coolness
Winterize
Unpardonable
...and the story was also supposed to have a winter theme this round.


Christmas Eve With Timmy
I sat and stewed while Hermey the elf sang in the background. New Years was still over a week away, but I already had my resolution firmly in mind: I was never going to babysit on Christmas Eve again, no matter how cute or how desperate the person asking me was. All that got you was a bruised shin and a stupid hat.

Rubbing my shin, I thought back ruefully to how I'd gotten here. It all started just after lunch on a day that was otherwise shaping up to be peaceful. Little did I know then that the peace was about to be shattered.

I'd answered a knock at the door, hoping that it was someone dropping off a package for me since I wasn't going to be going home for Christmas this year. Instead, it was my neighbor, Ryan. He'd moved down the hall from me four months ago, I'll admit that I was instantly attracted to him. My heart fluttered a little bit when I saw him standing there because I had been trying for weeks to find a way to start a conversation with him that didn't seem completely contrived. So far I had failed.

It was only after I stared at him, wondering what I should say, that I noticed that he looked really upset. Without even having to think about it, words fell out of my mouth. "What's wrong?"

He bit his lip, which was adorable, and gave me a shy look. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm in a real bind. My brother and my nephew just got here yesterday, and my brother hurt himself."

"He did?" I asked, wondering why he decided to tell me. "How?"

Ryan sighed. "They're from Dallas, and the thought of winterizing a car is completely beyond him. Instead of covering the car last night when it snowed, he just left it. And he didn't have an ice scraper either when he wanted to go shopping, then decided not to come back up to ask for one... Long story short, his method of cleaning ice off the windshield involved a screwdriver, and now he needs stitches."

I winced. My mind shied away from all the possible ways one could have injured themselves with a screwdriver, since it probably wasn't very pretty. "Oh, that's terrible."

"Yeah... I'm going to be bringing him to the emergency room. The problem is my nephew." He looked away, his cheeks suddenly appealingly pink. "Look, I know that you don't know me, and I won't be upset if you say no, but do you think you could keep an eye on my nephew today so the kid doesn't have to spend the afternoon at the hospital too?"

"Uh..." I stammered, stalling for time. I was trying not to let on, but I was disappointed that our first real in-depth conversation just involved him asking me for a favor. "How old is he?"

"Timmy is six."

Timmy. That sounded like a name for a nice little boy. How bad could babysitting the little boy named Timmy be? Without much further thought, besides the fleeting one that maybe this would spark a friendship at least between Ryan and me, I found myself saying, "Sure. Bring him over."

Ryan's face lit up, and for a moment I was convinced that I had just made a very good move. He touched my arm, and I tried not to shiver. "Thank you, you don't know how much I appreciate this."

If I had been another sort of girl, I probably would've purred that I was sure he could think of a way to thank me, but that's not me. "No problem. I hope they get him fixed up quickly."

"I'm sure it's nothing a few stitches won't fix," he said over her shoulder. "I'll go get Timmy right now. Thanks again for doing this, Hannah."

**

A couple minutes later Ryan returned, this time accompanied by a little boy, and his brother. He looked a lot like Ryan and probably was nearly as attractive when he wasn't white with pain. Ryan looked down at the boy, and said, "Timmy, this is Hannah. She's going to watch you so you don't have to go to the hospital with us."

"Come on in," I said to Timmy, who immediately brushed past me. Looking up at Ryan, I asked, "Two questions. Is it okay if we leave the apartment? And do you have a number in case I need to reach you?" I handed him my own cell phone number.

He deferred to his brother, who mumbled something about not caring what Timmy and I did, before shrugging. "I guess you can go wherever. I'll give you a call when we're on our way back." He glanced down at the boy again. "Be good."

"Whatever," the boy muttered, steadily refusing to look at any of us.

**

Timmy sulked for ten minutes after they left, then gave me a calculating look. "I want coco."

"Sorry, I don't have any."

His look suggested that I'd just committed an unpardonable sin. "But Uncle Ryan promised me some!"

Deep breaths, I told myself, the kid doesn't know you, and his dad's hurt, so he's having a bad day. "Let's go buy some then."

"Where?"

"Starbucks?"

"We have those at home," he said in a way that suggested familiarity wasn't a plus.

"Oh. Well, there's a café near the mall, too," I suggested. "Famous for their coco, even." In a moderate, small town sort of way.

Timmy perked up. "Is Santa going to be at the mall?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"I wanna see him! Dad said we would, but he hurt himself like an idiot."

It felt like I should protest, but his father did strike me as sort of dumb. I mean a screwdriver, really? So I just ignored that. "If he's there, we can see Santa." It didn't seem like my idea of fun, but what else was I going to do with the kid?

**

Things seemed to go well enough...at least until we'd been served. "Do you like the coco?" I asked as we sat in the café.

"No, it's gross. Can we see Santa now?" Timmy asked, sliding off his chair.

Mortified that a waitress had overheard, I left a big tip before bolting out the door.

**

Two hours later I knew that bringing a kid to the mall on Christmas Eve was to pass an occasion in hell. Children were running all over the place, only to stop abruptly and make you trip over them as they chattered about the coolness of whatever had caught their shifting attention. I almost trampled six kids before we even got to fake North Pole at the far end of the mall.

Timmy's excitement had waned once he saw how long the line was, but we stoically joined it. Or, at least he was stoic about it - after an hour, I was beginning to whine like a toddler myself. "Timmy, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, I gotta!"

"You must have already sent a letter to Santa," I said, feeling both desperate and clever at the same time. "So he knows what you want."

"No, not this," Timmy insisted. For a moment I began to feel bad, and assumed that he was going to ask Santa to make his Dad feel better. That seemed rather sweet. "I only saw it here in the mall."

Oh. So much for sweet. I stared ahead a the seventy kids in front of us, and thought about throwing myself on the ground and kicking my feet like the little girl having a tantrum in front of the toy store was. "Oh, okay..."

Timmy was quiet for a while, but eventually he looked up at me. "How come you don't have kids?"

"Um...I'm not married."

"Do you at least have a boyfriend?" Timmy asked, and I could almost swear he gave me a pitying look.

"No."

I was trying to think of a subtle way of asking if his uncle was single when Timmy looked me up and down. "Because you're fat?"

"Jesus, Timmy."

"You shouldn't say that."

"We're giving out prizes!" a booming voice announced next to me, making me jump a foot. A man stood there holding the ugliest hat I'd ever seen. He gave it to Timmy. "Here you go!"

"Thanks," Timmy muttered.

"Wow, you won an ugly hat," I couldn't help but remark.

"You wear it," Timmy insisted.

"No."

Then the brat hauled off and kicked me in the shin. Hard.

"Ow!"

"Wear it!"

"For God's sake!" I jammed the hat on my head and grabbed him by the arm. "We're leaving."

"But Santa!"

"Forget Santa. I hope he brings you coal."

"You're mean," Timmy whined, looking over his shoulder as I pulled him through the mall. Santa faded into the distance, and I was happy to get the hell out of there. We'd wasted hours in the mall, and neither of us had anything much to show for it.

**

Later

I hadn't been naive enough to expect better behavior from Timmy when I got him back to my apartment, but I hadn't anticipated worse, either. While I set about making us soup and sandwiches, he trashed my living room.

I almost dropped the tray when I saw that he'd flung my laundry about, using it to redecorate. Seeing me, he pointed at my bike. "Guess you don't use this much."

"Why?" I asked, waving a hand at the mess.

He shrugged. "Bored."

"Put everything back!"

"Yeah, right." Timmy grabbed one of the sandwiches. "Are you getting paid? 'cause you suck at this."

"I'm never having children," I muttered, bending for my strewn clothes.

Timmy laughed. "Of course you're not. Who'd marry you?"

I took a deep breath and counted to three thousand. I started over when he toppled a bookcase.

**

Things did not improve. Defeated, I curled up in a chair and decided to ignore Timmy until they came back. I'd hidden the matches and knives by that point.

"Uncle Ryan!" Timmy shouted eventually, making me look up. Ryan was standing in the doorway, taking in the disaster zone my apartment had become.

"Timmy, go back to my place," he said, yanking Timmy out into the hall. Looking at me he said, "Sorry?"

"Oh, you better be," I snapped.

My pant leg rode up as I brushed past the bike and Ryan noticed the huge bruise already spreading on my shin. "Bookcase falling over do that?"

"No, your nephew kicked me," I said, only to remember I was still wearing the stupid hat. I yanked it off.

"Timmy can be a handful," Ryan said apologetically before beginning to pick up the things that used to live in my bookcase.

I looked up at him, incredulous. "A handful? You're a master of understatement."

"I know. I'm sorry." He did look contrite.

"His behavior is your brother's fault, not yours," I said grudgingly.

"It's just...the divorce has been rough on the kid."

I nodded like I knew what that was like. "Sure."

"They're going home on Tuesday," Ryan said, apparently trying to reassure me that Timmy wasn't going to be a permanent fixture.

"Oh." I wasn't supposed to say "good" but it was hard not to.

"So, um...do you have plans for Friday?"

"No."

"Want some?" he asked, giving me a hopeful look.

I took a moment to think it over. "Alright."

"Great, so it's a date." I half expected him to say something about how it didn't have to be, but he stood firm. I liked that.

"How often does your brother visit you?"

Ryan blinked, apparently not expecting that question.

"Once a year. I mostly visit him."

I nodded. I guess if things worked out, I could put up with Timmy once a year. Then a horrible thought hit me. "You're not Timmy's godparent, are you?"

"No, why?"

"Just wondering."
The End


 
"Too much to pay, no one to blame" - Junk Circuit, The Devil Wears A Crown